The Five Acre Field

The Five Acre Universe

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Ironically, the first step to understanding the universe is to study yourself, the same way you would examine a telescope and its physical placement before trusting what it showed in the eyepiece. Self awareness means changing from a person to a system. Fully recognizing that you are a community of efforts and ideas within yourself.

Self-awareness is safeguarded by a few difficult realizations, most importantly, mortality. The more you study your heart, your mind, your bodily functions, you will feel the gravity of your death loom close and present, no longer distant and aloof. Your journey to self awareness will involve journaling about your daily life and experiences, quieting your mind to listen to your internal self, your bodily functions, researching your anatomy and the health history of your family, taking time to commune with the negative, find stress an appropriate punching bag, pierce anxiety at the source and most importantly, reflect on all feedback from those closest to you.

In the end, you’re going to find that you are unwillingly employed in a complicated, exhaustive system of existence and the thought of that process tripping up or eventually tiring to the point of breakdown is not only unsurprising, makes complete and practicable sense. Life is highly consumptive. Death is the only time life ever gives back without asking anything in return. It’s the greatest act of charity and love that we could ever show to the earth, giving back what we took so much of to sustain ourselves. It’s our only absolution. It's our soil. Death is the only reason life exists.

The first organisms were probably immortal, and they are no longer here.

Self-awareness is an overgrown, seldom used path because it leads directly back through self-denial’s favorite hiding place, which is where we stuffed our fear of death when it first haunted our footsteps as children. To reach understanding, self-awareness is the sole path. To pray thank you to the universe, self-awareness is the only language the universe could hope to understand. Self is the only vessel a sensible god would use to communicate, knowing eyes can fail and ears can be stuffed. A smart god would record revelation in the unavoidable daily chores of staying alive. Need of water, baptism, keeping shelter, the church, and most importantly, consider the reaping of wheat when you taste bread, and think of the crushed fruit grown rotten in death and soured before turning sweet and clean and safe to drink.

Self-awareness, how much death is responsible for life? The body’s ability to kill its own cells is the difference between productive, malignant and benign growth. Our own body will gladly eat us to death if we don’t feed it, we’re held hostage to basic existence. And still, we’re insistent there is no farmer and we call all these interlapping systems chaos. 

Like an amoeboe on a blade of grass looking out over a five acre field trying to describe the tractor-driver about to see it tilled. The scariest revelation waiting in self-awareness is the monumental need others have of you. And our entire existence makes no sense and must be meaningless if not for the subversive, languageless, back-of-our-mind fear that this is all on purpose, not meaningless, and we have a lot more work to do. 

You learn the field by learning yourself, the understanding is built within, not without. If you’re an amoeboe, come to know the meaning and purpose of the field through studying being an amoeba. And if you are a human being, come to know the meaning and purpose of the universe by conquering your brain by building your frontal lobe and paying better respect to your feet, your hands, knees, back, and neck, they bear the real weight of existence, they are better at explaining the benefits of mortality.

The brain has become a monarch over the body, one that needs to be stripped of its crown, and self-awareness is the revolution that brings it down.

It is only the brain that can not fathom the universe's shape. 

Once your full anatomy enters your self-awareness, you will also glimpse the outline of the five acre field we're planted on.